The Many Faces of Barney Frank

(Fake Bloomberg, Washington) If you’ve ever wondered why Barney Frank looks like he’s got something stuck up his rear end, it turns out it’s… because he’s got something stuck up his rear end. Actually, more than something: many things.Barney

Yesterday, Frank announced he would not run for another term and early this morning doctors at Bethesda Medical Center removed the following from Frank’s posterior cavity:

12 Gigolos Jiggling

11 Curly light bulbs

10 Lobbyists lobbying

9 Staffers staffing

8 Men-a-Milking

7 Skanky Speedos

6 Government cheese blocks

5 Golden Parachutes

4 Calling Girls

3 French Fries

2 Ninja Turtles

And a Hamster in a Pear Tree.

Doctors said Frank is resting comfortably.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on November 29, 2011, in Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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