The Dirtiest Team (And “Player”) In America…Or Ever

This video has to be seen to be believed, although the multiple instant replays drag it out quite a bit.

Number 34 in white, AKA the Quarter-Ton of Fun, AKA Gnarls Porkley, AKA The Psychedelic Hack, AKA The Jowled Bowel of Foul, AKA The Obese Cheese Who Needs To Be Policed, AKA The Great White Whale Who Should Be In Jail, has no apparent roundball skills (unless flagrantly and continually assaulting others are now considered roundball skills).

I am sure he will soon face a team with less patience and reserve than the kids in the maroon unis, and his payback will likely be most unpleasant. Got mouth guard?

What’s the corrective action needed? Fire the white team’s coach and the athletic director; put number 34 in anger management and/or foster care; disbar the referees.

The dirtiest team and player (using the term loosely) in America?

About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on January 6, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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