Why Save The Euro?

The compelling reason for saving the euro goes like this:

“The euro is the heart of Europe. If the euro is destroyed, it’s the whole of Europe that goes up in smoke. If Europe goes up in smoke it’s the peace of our continent that will be one day or another be called into question.”

That profound observation, steeped in iron-clad logic, is from Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France (until the next French election).

But Sarkozy’s take sounds like one of those recent ads for why you should ditch your cable TV provider and go with satellite.

‘When your cable goes out, you get angry (a man slaps the table). When you get angry, your daughter imitates you (four-year old girl slaps table). When your daughter gets angry, she gets kicked out of school (teen age Goth girl with nose ring slaps a lunchroom tray out of a teacher’s hand). When she gets kicked out of school, she starts hanging with the wrong crowd (Goth girl watching Johnny Rotten look alike play pinball in an arcade). When she hangs with the wrong crowd, she marries one of them (Goth girl and Johnny Rotten look alike sucking face in a modest outdoor wedding ceremony). When she marries one of the wrong crowd, you end up with a grandson who wears a dog collar (comical shot of infant clad in biker/Goth garb). Switch from cable to satellite.’ (actually this is all a paraphrase and I can’t recall if it’s DirectTV or Dish who runs the ad, but you get the idea, which is intentionally absurd in the ad).

So back to the euro. The short take from The Commentator offers this:

Nicolas Sarkozy again invoked the threat of war in Europe if the euro fails. He’s a dangerous clown.

That assessment is crisp, succinct, and on-target. What’s not to like?

The longer take, from the article itself is just as on-target:

First, they [Europe’s leaders] know that the risk of a collapse of the euro is very real, otherwise they would not be resorting to such alarmist rhetoric.

Second, they are fanatics who refuse to compromise and take a step or two back if that would mean accepting that their dream of an autocratic European empire will never become reality.

It is that second point that is worth pondering since the first is obvious. Think about what they are saying.

Why, for example, should the euro be the only thing standing between peace and war? Was the continent really at risk of a conflagration if Europe’s leaders hadn’t come along to save the day with the single currency? Is that really where we were in the 1990s?

The notion’s clearly barmy. But like Stalin’s armies in World War II, the leaders of the European project have a policy of no surrender and no retreat. They will defeat their foes – in this case Europe’s sovereign nation states and the defenders of democracy – whatever the cost.

And this is really the point to take away: the comments from Sarkozy, Merkel et al aren’t meant simply as a warning; they’re also meant as a threat.

When they warn of a return to intra-European bloodshed they’re also saying that that is what they will push Europe towards rather than relinquish some control, pare down the beloved “project” or even accept basic economic realities.

They’re dangerous and dishonest people, and we need to be tireless in exposing them.

Well said: longer, but still crisp, possesses explanatory power, and again hits the mark.

It’s all about power, whether it’s “saving” the euro or making bogus “recess” appointments.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on January 7, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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