Dazed and Confused: What the CD Should have Been

There’s the Dazed and Confused CD (not necessarily the entire soundtrack) and there’s what the Dazed and Confused CD could have been. Is a lot of personal preference involved? Absolutely!

The actual CD, pasted in from Wikipedia, goes like this:

  1. Rock and Roll, Hoochie Koo” – Rick Derringer
  2. Slow Ride” – Foghat
  3. School’s Out” – Alice Cooper
  4. “Jim Dandy” – Black Oak Arkansas
  5. Tush” – ZZ Top
  6. Love Hurts” – Nazareth
  7. Stranglehold” – Ted Nugent
  8. Cherry Bomb” – The Runaways
  9. Fox on the Run” – Sweet
  10. Low Rider” – War
  11. Tuesday’s Gone” – Lynyrd Skynyrd
  12. Highway Star” – Deep Purple
  13. Rock and Roll All Nite” – KISS
  14. Paranoid” – Black Sabbath

The improved CD (and rationale) would go like this:

  1. Dazed and Confused” – Led Zeppelin. I mean you’re going to have a movie called Dazed and Confused and won’t feature the song itself? And no disrespect towards Rick Derringer (although his Teen Age Love Affair would compete nicely), but as the Beastie Boys might say, you gotta fight for the rights to your moo-vie.
  2. Fool for the City” – Foghat. Same group, same album, and a song not used in a Hardee’s ad.
  3. School Boy Crush” – Average White Band. A wholesale substitution with School’s Out, which Alice opened with as recently as the fall of 2009 (and probably still is). With a few scenes D&C dedicated to a minor subplot about romance, why not AWB?
  4. Wildwood Weed” – Jim Stafford. Still worked in a “Jim” reference; consistent with the theme of the movie and; I saw him play in high school.
  5. Beer Drinkers and Hell Raisers” – ZZ Top. Again, consistent with the movie’s theme; same group, earlier album.
  6. Hair of the Dog” – Nazareth. Same group, same album, better song (featuring much more cowbell).
  7. Dog Eat Dog” – Ted Nugent. OK, the album wasn’t released until after the movie’s storyline (October, 1976 versus the ‘last day of school 1976’) but this ain’t no documentary. In Animal House, the Deltas took a few liberties liberties with their female guests, and I’ll take a few liberties with this post.
  8. Fight the Power, Part 1” – The Isley Brothers. In for Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-Cherry Bomb (I may have missed a ch there) and if you’re going to have a countercultural protest song, FTP is hard to beat. I never got the draw of the Runaways (with the clear exception of the brilliant Joan Jett, the doppelgänger of the era’s Olivia Newton John).
  9. Ballroom Blitz“- Sweet. As with so many others, same group, same album, better song. A suitable substitute would also be AC DC, same group, etc.
  10. Cisco Kid” – War. Earlier War, from The World is a Ghetto. Not really better in this case, but different and not reminiscent of the Low Rider’s now comedic and well-worn car horn riff. 
  11. Thirty Days in the Hole” – Humble Pie. Yeah, Lynyrd Skynyrd’s hard to beat, but so is the (arguably) first superband at the heights of their powers.
  12. Space Truckin’” – Deep Purple. Same group, same album, and a Song of Space and Nuclear War.
  13. Lost in the Ozone” – Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen. It isn’t an anthem like Rock and Roll All Nite, it’s a way of life (and another Song of Space and Nuclear War)
  14. Magneto and Titanium Man” – Wings. A little pop-ish perhaps, but not quite a silly love song (but what’s wrong with that, I’d like to know?).

What’s missing? A few “Change the channel!!”/throwaway songs like the human dog whistle heard in Loving You or the “I just threw up a little in my mouth” angst of At Seventeen.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on January 13, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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