New Human Growth Hormone Side Effect Identified
A new side effect of human growth hormone has now been identified by medical authorities at the Calcutta Institute for Pharmaceutical Enhancement: ballooning eyeball syndrome.
In other unrelated news, reigning National League MVP Ryan Braun continues in his battle to avoid a 50-game suspension for violating baseball’s performance-enhancing drug standards.
Braun’s agent, Marty Feldman, said, “Ryan looks forward to his compete exoneration regarding these ridiculous allegations and is eagerly eying the upcoming 2012 season, which he views may well be his best ever.” As far as Braun’s protestation of innocence, Feldman added, “We and MLB aren’t really seeing eye-to-eye on this, but hopefully well have a shared vision very soon. Remember, there’s no ‘i’ in team, but there is one in ‘win’.”