At Halftime, Nikki Finke 56, Academy Awards 3

Nikki Finke crushes the Academy.

I don’t have the ratings yet, but heard the Academy Awards were out-drawn by a season two rerun from Storage Wars. True?

Back to Nikki: if her post was a fight, the referee would have to stop it. She’s created a devastating masterpiece.

The bottom line up front:

This 84th Academy Awards show is supposed to be televised to more than 225 countries worldwide. So I’m tipping all you foreigners to something that Americans already know: The Oscars suck every year! And this year the Oscars are gonna suck worse than ever!

While that quote is representative, her insights get better and better.

Host Billy Crystal, looking generally lifelike for the first half-show, arrived in his signature Prius limo.

A short list of candidates to host the 85th Academy Awards is thought to include any of the characters from The Muppets, Conan O’Barbarian, Space Ghost, Jimmy Fallow, and Jimmy Kibbles-n-bits.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on February 27, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. G’Day! Professor,
    Thanks you for your post, I mean seriously the Italians and French and Iranians took over the Oscars! i guess its semi-legit that Iranians won for a foreign language film cuz they speak a foreign language but still their country is so mean i dont think they should of won. America for Americans.
    All the Best

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