‘Even if superstars are selfish glory hounds, this is hardly a way to win…’

3/8/2012 UPDATE to the trailing story: Kobe Bryant goes 1 for 10 in the final period as the Lakers lose a huge lead, and the game, to the lowly Washington Wizards.


ESPN the Magazine, as opposed to ESPN the television network, tells us that the thing they term hero-ball doesn’t work.

Most of us knew it intuitively and experientially, but now there are stats—and plenty of them—to back up the non-functionality of hero-ball, at least at the NBA level. But why doesn’t hero-ball work?

It seems there are three main reasons: it’s predictable; it’s predictable; it’s predictable.

Sometimes, hero-ball does work. That’s the case of the exception proving the rule, getting lucky, or better said, a random success.

In fact, is it possible some hero-ball guys may be more enraptured with taking the last shot than they are on actually winning? The evidence suggests yes.

Will the Lakers’ fans get better entertainment value out of having Kobe Bryant miss a whole series of hero-ball shots at the end of a game or by having a non-hero-ball guy (or guys) make plays to win the game?


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on March 7, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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