Peyton Manning: The Guy Who Destroyed John Elway’s NFL Front-Office Career

If it’s true the Denver Broncos will sign Peyton Manning to be their 2012 quarterback, it will be the move that marks the demise of John Elway’s front-office career.

Restated, Peyton Manning will be to John Elway as Carmelo Anthony was to Mike D’Antoni, only in Elway’s case, the career killing wound will have been self-inflicted rather than top-down directed.


First, ask what the Colts, who let Manning go, know that the Broncos don’t. The Colts will be casting their lot with Andrew Luck rather than Manning. Was the money an issue? Of course, the money is always an issue. But still, Peyton Manning was the face of the Colts (why he even possesses a bit of a horse head, as does John Elway—the teeth, you know) and the Colts felt more comfortable moving ahead with Luck.

Second, and related to the first, Manning’s neck. How will it hold up, literally?

Third: expectations. This season, the Broncos had a first round playoff win. Think the Manning-led Broncos will do better next season? I don’t.

Fourth: the NFL is known as a copy-cat league, so perhaps Elway views Manning as a copy of himself. But Elway was a gunslinger (when he was good) and Manning was a sniper (especially when working the weather-free confines of Lucas Oil Field, or whatever it’s called). However, John, there’s this thing called time which takes its toll on all things, except, it appears, nostalgia.

Finally, the Broncos will be compelled to end the Tim Tebow experience. And that’s nothing but sad.

John, you may want to begin working on your CV right now for the time (maybe about two years from now) when a collegiate AD position opens up.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on March 19, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. Agree completely – Elway is clueless. That they threw 96 million at this guy is beyond anyone with common sense. He’s one little hit away from no more playing and to think he chose money over a more classy finish in Tennessee, is utterly amazing. Then again, the Mannings have always been 1st class jerks, and yes I say that having met papa Jerk Archie himself.

  1. Pingback: Bronco Fail « mockfactor10

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: