Joe Biden: many fries short of a Happy Meal

Here’s a recent sample SAT question, presented as a point of political illustration:

Joe Biden is to Dan Quayle as ________________

a) David Bowie is to glitter rock.

b) David Petraeus is to King David.

c) green energy is to nuclear power.

d) Alfred E. Newman is to Albert Einstein.

e) all the above.

The correct answer is “D.” While “C” could be argued, it uses things whereas “D” uses people.

And the evidence that “D” is correct? It’s everywhere, but most recently in Politico:

Vice President Joe Biden is the biggest cheerleader of the president’s decision to raid Osama bin Laden’s compound and, on Monday, he offered new praise for the choice Obama made last spring.

“You can go back 500 years. You cannot find a more audacious plan. Never knowing for certain. We never had more than a 48 percent probability that he was there,” Biden said at a fundraiser in Morris Township, N.J.

I’m not sure how Joe computed that 48 percent probability nor is anyone else, to include Joe. However, the number is quite close to the President’s most recent strongly disapprove polling number.

(Note: in the image above, Vice President Biden estimates the the probability of success for the bin Laden operation to the media.)


1. extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave; fearless: an audacious explorer.

2. extremely original; without restriction to prior ideas; highly inventive: an audacious vision of the city’s bright future.

3. recklessly bold in defiance of convention, propriety, law, or the like; insolent; brazen.

4. lively; unrestrained; uninhibited: an audacious interpretation of her role.

D-Day? Tepid.

The Raid on Entebbe? Apathetic.

The Bay of Pigs fiasco? Meh.

Operation Geronimo—having bin Laden killed from the friendly confines of the White House video teleconference center? Politically priceless.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on March 20, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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