Shocker: New York Times Hates Alabama

The highly cocooned editors at the New York Times are mad at Alabama for their law on illegal immigration.

The Times describe the law in question, H.B. 56, as “cruel, destructive and embarrassing.” The muy cocooned go on to say:

It still seeks to use police as immigration agents, criminalize acts of charity toward undocumented immigrants and nullify contracts the undocumented sign. And it retreats not an inch from its sponsors’ goal of solving Alabama’s problems through mass immigrant expulsion.

Well. If the feds won’t enforce federal immigration laws, is it any wonder that states will take action on their own?

Chances are the editors of the Times haven’t thought any of this through. Do they really approve of the idea of cheating unemployed Americans (some of whom may be minorities, women, the LGBT community, and the poor) by providing the benefits of citizenship to the “undocumented” ? There is a fundamental issue of the law, writ large, and how it impacts U.S. citizens. Even highly-cocooned liberals will many times agree—in principle—that  living in a nation with a citizenry of generally law-observing folks is a good thing.

Here’s what Wikipedia offers about H.B. 65:

The Alabama law requires that if police have “reasonable suspicion” that a person is an immigrant unlawfully present in the United States, in the midst of any legal stop, detention or arrest, to make a similarly reasonable attempt to determine that person’s legal status. An exemption is provided if such action would hinder an official investigation of some kind.[2]

The law prohibits illegal immigrants from receiving any public benefits at either the state or local level. It bars illegal immigrants from attending publicly-owned colleges or universities [currently blocked[7]]. At the high, middle, and elementary public school levels, the law requires that school officials ascertain whether students are illegal immigrants. Attendance is not prohibited for such students; school districts are mandated to submit annual tallies on the suspected number of illegal immigrants when making report to state education officials.[8][2]

The law prohibits the transporting or harboring of illegal immigrants [currently blocked[7]]. It prohibits landlords from renting property to illegal immigrants. It forbids employers from knowingly hiring illegal immigrants for any job within Alabama. Moreover, it considers as a discriminatory practice any action to refuse to employ or remove a legal resident of the state when an illegal one is already employed [currently blocked[7]]. The law requires large and small businesses to validate the immigration status of employees using the US E-Verify program. The law prohibits illegal immigrants from applying for work.[currently blocked[7]][2]

The production of false identification documents is considered a crime. Contracts formed in which one party is an illegal immigrant and the other has direct knowledge of that are deemed null and void. The law also requires voters to provide proof of citizenship when registering.[2]

Methinks the phrase of emphasis in the above is this: illegal immigrants. When we have the New Deli Times replace the New York Times en toto, perhaps the editors will bark up a different tree.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on April 17, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. I would support Alabama deporting people who subscribe to the New York Times.

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