Moral Failure = Failure

Maureen Dowd is not high on John Edwards:

[Former Edwards campaign team member Andrew] Young testified that Edwards’s rationale for not hearing details about the checks used for the “cover-up” — $1 million solicited from two wealthy donors, the late Fred Baron and the 101-year-old Bunny Mellon, who sent “Bunny money” through an interior designer with red herring notations about antique furniture — was that he didn’t want to have to lie in case he was ever sworn in as attorney general. (Another hallucination, since Barack Obama never had any intention of giving that post to a man he considered a pretty boy.)

It was a pathetic measure of his vertiginous fall that he once thought he could be the boss of the very prosecutor pushing for him to go to jail for up to 30 years and pay up to $1.5 million in fines.

Sitting behind Edwards, as Young described the fortune lavished on Rielle, was his family, who once thought he would be in White House: his 30-year-old daughter, Cate, a lawyer who is strategizing with her dad on the case; his elderly father, the former textile millworker; and his mother. His parents, disdained by Elizabeth as “hicks,” brought their own seat cushions.

Everyone’s arguing whether Edwards is a swindler or merely a swine.

While Dowd goes on to offer that Edwards is certainly a swine, it’s more interesting—well, to me—that she dishes that Obama viewed Edwards as a pretty boy. What an insult to pretty boys everywhere (plus that whole takes one to know one thing comes to mind as well).

Assuming Dowd’s guess is correct (and going Freud here), I’d speculate Obama didn’t want the media competition from Edwards. He instead went the “safe” route and picked a more traditional moral failure, Eric Holder.

Eric Stratton would have brought more forthrightness, morality, and honesty to the Administration (even if he is an ob/gyn type).

eric stratton


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on April 25, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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