Elizabeth Warren as Ward Churchill

Ward Churchill is the disgraced former University of Colorado full professor, sans terminal degree, sans academic ethics, and it turns out, sans the Native American bona fides he claimed to possess. Churchill, in one of the better headlines I’ve recently read, was categorized as a Reprobate Without A Cause.

Ward Churchill was fired from Colorado University in Boulder in 2007 for “repeated intentional academic misconduct.”  The firing resulted not from his noxious comments about victims of terrorism, or his virulent anti-American rantings, but from proven instances of plagiarism, duplicitous writings, and questions about his unsubstantiated claim of having a Native American heritage.

Elizabeth Warren is a darling of the left, former Obama Administration worker and Harvard professor, and U.S. Senate candidate. Warren has claimed to be part Cherokee (one thirty-second), earning double bonus points on the diversity scorecard: female and Native American. The downside for Warren is that even if it’s true—she bases the claim on “family stories”—the game is over.

I just can’t shake the ridiculous image of you, Liz — a blue-eyed blonde almost as pasty white as me — letting yourself be described as a minority professor, a Native American, for years.

You’ve played the Indian card. You’ve grabbed for minority cred without enduring the minority grief. It’s poached diversity.


Here’s the problem for you, Liz: We’re not talking some elaborate, arcane, confusing financial irregularity here that nobody can understand. Everybody gets this. It’s letting everyone think you’re something that you’re not. It’s letting stand the idea that you’re part of an aggrieved class of people.

First it was the zero interest twenty year loan. Then it was the massive professorial salary that didn’t really require teaching. Now, it’s the family story race card.

So, is it like Ward Churchill? That is, game over, Elizabeth, game over? (Maybe you can build a fire or sing a couple of songs.)

But does the race game ever end?

About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 1, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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