Cinco de Mayo

chadI thought Cinco de Mayo was the name of that football player formerly known as… Say, what was that guy’s name anyway?

I guess that’s not too far off. From the AP:

Here’s what Cinco de Mayo has become in the U.S.: a celebration of all things Mexican, from mariachi music to sombreros, marked by schools, politicians and companies selling everything from beans to beer.

And here’s what Cinco de Mayo is not, despite all the signs in bar windows inviting revelers to drink: It’s not Mexico’s Independence Day, and it’s barely marked in Mexico, except in the state of Puebla, where the holiday is rooted in a complicated and short-lived 1862 military victory over the French.

But don’t let that spoil the party.

I also thought Hallmark invented the holiday in order to sell some cards. Like “Secretary Day,” you know?

My recommendation? Party like you’re Chad Ocho Cinco de Mayo and take home a twelve-pack of Booty Sweat today.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 3, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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