Obama’s “Girlfriend” Explains Much

It turns out President Obama’s long-ago girlfriend wasn’t a girlfriend. “She” was a composite.

“Composite”—in this case—is a euphemism for a fabrication.

Some—but not nameless, cruel, or off-camera MSCNBC hosts—will likely blame the President’s drug use. Their thinking: if he admits to being a “junkie” and a “pothead,” what is he not admitting? Long-term project MKULTRA volunteer? 

The “composite” revelation and MKULTRA whispers hearken back to a considered-but-not-chosen title—Hallucinations from My Father—for the President’s 1995 “memoir.”

Now, not to be confused with the composite, there’s a new book from an actual ex-girlfriend, (that is, not a composite):

But during their relationship [ex-girlfriend Genevieve] Cook and her lover did often talk about race and when they did Mr Obama was quite revealing.

The book reads that it was part of his ‘inner need to find a sense of belonging’ and Ms Cook encouraged it.

The book reads: ‘If she felt like an outsider, he was a double outsider, racial and cross-cultural. He looked black, but was he? He confessed to her that at times: ‘He felt like an imposter. Because he was so white. There was hardly a black bone in his body.’

‘At some point that summer she realized that: ‘In his own quest to resolve his ambivalence about black and white, it became very, very clear to me that he needed to go black.’

If there is such a thing as a hyphenated American, President Obama is it: African father + American mother = African-American, right? And if his mother had been from Paris, he could have been an African-French (or is it African-Franco?). But if that had happened, lacking U.S. citizenship, he would have missed out on his opportunity to be president.

We’ve already seen he (the President) has loosed the lightening of his terrible swift (economic) sword and now, his (composite) truth is marching on. Thankfully, there’s an alternative.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 3, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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