Why are all Obama’s records sealed?

The topic of Barry Oh’s! academic records, transcripts, standardized test scores, papers, and the likes are hermetically sealed and somehow unavailable to the public despite the theory that all information wants to be free.

I mean pirated DVD copies of the new Avengers flick were probably for sale on the streets of Beijing before it was in U.S. release, yet the President’s records are somehow absolutely leak-proof. That’s dedication, my friends. Either that or David Axelrod had everything destroyed.

But why would the President’s records need to be sealed in the first place? Simple: think Elizabeth Warren.

Warren is finally getting the vetting she deserves and as Warren Zevon would say, it ain’t that pretty at all. Affirmative action hire? Check. Sketchy scholarship? Check. Empirical emptiness? Check.

Could Barry Oh’s! record reveal the same?

Enjoy every sandwich.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 10, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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