Clinton and Obama: America’s first black and gay presidents

Chloe Ardelia Wofford (AKA Toni Morrision) declared Bill Clinton to be America’s first black president. From The New Yorker:

Years ago, in the middle of the Whitewater investigation, one heard the first murmurs: white skin notwithstanding, this is our first black President. Blacker than any actual black person who could ever be elected in our children’s lifetime.

So it would seem either 1) Morrison’s crystal ball was broken, 2) her assertion was ridiculous, or 3) President Obama isn’t black.

gayNow, Newsweak’s Andrew Sullivan says Barry Oh! is the first gay president. I’m not sure what his homosexual qualifications (Obama’s; for Sullivan I have no need-to-know) are, as Morrison might say, his apparent non-homosexuality notwithstanding.

Will Sullivan’s prediction be as far off as Morrison’s? Or is it instead more likely that Obama’s hand was forced by GaffeMaster Flash; that Barry needed the homosexual community’s money to fund his re-election effort; that once you parse his statements out, you can see he’s hedging; that his knowledge as a Christian theologian and Biblical expert are just as good as his presidential skills; that he’s “evolving” on who knows what else.

I heard someone today say they feel the President is a radical Marxist. I’m sure the President doesn’t view himself in such a manner, but it really all comes down to how you define things: black, gay, radical , and/or Marxist.

The lessons? 1) Definitions matter and 2) actions speak louder than words.

If you don’t think definitions matter, then check out America’s unemployment numbers which are said to be falling.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 14, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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