Dana Milbank finds an acorn

OK, props where they’re due: the Washington Post-It’s Dana Milkbag finds an acorn every once in a while.

Like his take on the President’s Barnyard (oops, is that Barnard?) College commencement speech.

Obama was still early in his address when he acknowledged that his praise for the young generation of women is “a cheap applause line when you’re giving a commencement at Barnard.”

But Obama was being modest. He didn’t deliver a cheap applause line. He delivered an entire speech full of them. His reelection campaign has been working for months to exploit the considerable gender gap, which puts him far ahead of likely GOP rival Mitt Romney among women. But Monday’s activities veered into pandering, as Obama brazenly flaunted his feminine mystique.

I’m not familiar with Barry Oh’s! feminine mystique, although we’ve all seen his feminine physique.

Milbank points out Obama has gone beyond groveling for women’s votes and that he actually seems to feel compelled to elevate them above men. Has he just given up on non-homosexual men voting for him or is this more sinister? That is, is this really Obama’s War on Men?

He speculated that, although no women signed the Constitution, “we can assume that there were founding mothers whispering smarter things in the ears of the founding fathers.”

Surely those cloddish Founding Fathers we’re going to do something really stupid. Maybe merge the colonies with France? Or just pay the taxes for the privilege of being a British citizen? Thankfully their wives and daughters were there to correct them.

But the problem is not with the Founding Fathers, or men. It’s with Obama, whose self-created bubble seems to get tighter and thicker by the day. More homosexual scout masters? Obama favors that. The Lilly Bedwetter Fair Pay Act? He’s proud of it. Married to a first-freeloader who mooches off the American taxpayers almost as much as Obama himself? Check. A President who is delving deeply into self-parody? Obama’s down with that, too.

In making the appearance on the Ivy League campus in Manhattan, Obama risked confirming that he is the coastal elitist he’s often accused of being.

I’d beg to differ on the risked confirming assessment. I’d say Barry re-confirmed.

So what hosannas are left for the Barnyard grads to offer?

The young women applauded and cheered lines about “equal pay for equal work,” controlling “decisions about your own health” and many others.

What should Obama have used for an applause line? A free chicken for every pot and a free abortion for every chick.

Will the fact Obama has been an epic American fail keep Milbank from supporting him in the fall? Doubtful.

But I’m glad Milbank isn’t oblivious to the President’s myriad flaws. In the land of the blind mainstream media, the one-eyed scribe can be king.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 15, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

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