Lance Armstrong and Barack Obama

Lance Armstrong asserted it’s not about the bike.

The US Anti-Doping Agency doesn’t disagree, but they think it is about the performance enhancing drugs. You say Lance never failed a drug test? Well, neither did Marion Jones.

The media reports Dem insiders think the 2012 election is about money.

…in a classic example of Citizens United-era subterfuge, a handful of the [Obama finance committee] attendees slipped away from the Renaissance Blackstone Hotel in the South Loop and headed to the bar. Over drinks, they met with Bill Burton and Paul Begala, leaders of the super PAC that is supporting Obama, Priorities USA Action, which is forbidden by law from coordinating with the campaign. Burton and Begala pleaded for help. “They said, ‘Don’t you know some billionaires you can send us to?’” says one of the finance committee members. “I tried to think of a couple.”

With every passing week, Democratic insiders are becoming more and more panicked that, by November, their Republican opponents will have buried them under a mountain of money.

Voters know it isn’t about the money. Rather the fall election is going to be a referendum on the presidency of Barry Oh!. To paraphrase Woody Allen, eighty percent of the election will be about Mitt Romney showing up.

And the media is not without a sense of irony, even if it’s inadvertent:

THERE’S ONE VERY OBVIOUS reason that Democratic super PAC fund-raising is lagging, and it can be gleaned from a cursory glance at the Forbes 400. “We’re not as rich as they are. It’s that simple,” says John Morgan, a personal injury attorney from Florida whose firm gave Priorities $50,000 and whom I reached as he waited on the tarmac for a flight to the French Open.

What a drag it is to only have John Morgan’s bank account when you want Warren Buffett’s.

Regardless, while it’s still early, the election is lining up in a way that is likely to be very ugly for the incumbent.

At least Jimmy Carter did the Habitat for Humanity thing for a while before reappearing as a unending plantar wart on the sole soul of America. I wonder what Barry will do (besides have someone ghost-write/invent his memoirs)?


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on June 23, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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