Olympic swimming: send lawyers, drugs, and money

Do you know Ye Shiwen, the 16 year old female Chinese swimmer? The one who has passed her Olympic drug tests?

…she swam the final 50 meters of the freestyle leg in 28.93 seconds. That was faster Ryan Lochte, an American swimmer who won the men’s event. During the breaststroke leg, Ye had been trailing American Elizabeth Beisel before unleashing a devastating final kick that was faster than both Lochte and Michael Phelps, who finished fourth in the men’s medley. Her time on Saturday was also seven seconds faster than her own previous best time in the 400 IM last year.

When the drug tests don’t check for the drugs being used, they’re unlikely to indict the athlete.

I believe Marion Jones, Lance Armstrong, Barry Bonds, and Roger Clemens also passed all their drug tests.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on August 2, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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