Bud Light Presents Real Men of Genius

Background: cue Real Men of Genius music soundtrack

Narrator: Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius

Singer: Real Men of Genius

Narrator: Today we salute you mister super-PAC ad creator.

Singer: Mister super-PAC ad creator.

Narrator: As your sponsor requires, you fabricate hypocrisy, lies, and distortions using unsourced quotes and self-advancing opinions only to throw it all down the memory hole of denial and disassociation when you’re done. Does stupid is as stupid does ring a bell?

Singer: Will stupid poll well?

Narrator: And even though your candidate has an economic record of accomplishment that makes Jimmy Carter look like Milton Friedman, your side says, “The other candidate’s a felon and murderer.”

Singer: I write what they want.

Narrator: Your guy bypasses Congress on a routine basis, raised the debt to unpayable levels, and tries to make the successful despised. But if no one’s successful, doesn’t America fail?

Singer: Ignorance is knowledge, weakness is strength, and failure’s success.

Narrator: And didja ever think that if government debt could fix the economy, it would have long ago?

Singer: Hey, look at the time.

Narrator: And the whole thing is done to try and get your guy re-elected. What, you ran out of cool slogans like forward, hope-n-change, win the future, the summer of recovery, or pass the skull bong?

Singer: Choom, choom, choom, let’s go back to my room.

Narrator: So crack open an ice cold Bud Light and toast yourself, oh artisan of the advertisement, because your candidate is more than just a few fries short of a Happy Meal; he’s a whole Happy Meal short.

Singer: Mister super-PAC ad creator.

Narrator: Anheuser Busch, Saint Louis, Missouri.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on August 9, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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