Speed Read: Bits From Bob Woodward’s Book ‘Price of Politics’

price of politicsHere are the alleged ‘juiciest bits’ from Bob Woodward’s new book Price of Politics. The original piece appeared in the Daily Beast and has been modified here to facilitate understanding and discussion:

1. Obama alienated people with his arrogance.

No shocker here. A man writing his own press releases is one thing, but a man believing them leads to a whole ‘nother set of problems. Is Obama arrogant? Of course, and when matched with his infamously thin skin, is bound to lead to problems with national-level governance. It’s all like the Carter Administration on steroids.

2. Biden was the Republican ‘whisperer.’

Since he can’t speak or write, Biden has apparently been reduced to whispering. The incoherence of Biden’s whispers exceed the limits of human imagination but gives meaning to the phrase ‘whispering in tongues.’

3. Obama ‘chomped on Nicorette’  during secret meetings with Boehner.

Interesting. All along I thought Obama had been chewing on khat laced with bath salts, spice, and peyote.

4. Ryan said Obama ‘poisoned the well’ by ripping apart his budget plan in his face.

The ‘poisoned the well’ paraphrase is truncated and lacks context. Ryan actually said Obama, “Poisoned the well-being of normal Americans.”

5. Cantor and Boehner had awkward tension.

Again, some context is useful: actually, Cantor and Boehner had awkward tension when (and because) Obama was present.

6. Obama told Cantor: ‘Don’t call my bluff.’

Yes, that’s what Obama said. What Obama meant was, “This is the only idea the staff has given me. And it took so long to make it. And I’ll never have the recipe again.”

7. Boehner avoided Obama’s calls.

OK, I can see that.

Buy the book if you must. Per the Woodward method, speculate on who the leakers are by how positively they’re presented.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on September 6, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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