Madonna’s new endorsement package announced

(NEW YORK, APIN) The recording artist formerly known as Madonna has just completed an endorsement package with McDonalds which will result in her being known as McDonna for the next five years.

The deal, thought to cost the fast food chain $3 to 4 million and “one Chicken McNugget Happy Meal for every African man, woman, and child” at some future date, is viewed as a career boost to the aging and unattractive star.

McDonna-linked sources have revealed McDonalds won a bidding war with Pepsi who was intending to have McDonna self-immolate in a tie-in promotion and tribute to the late Michael Jackson. Heirs to the Jackson estate are said to be considering legal action.

However, the McDonalds deal is already subject to controversy as the contract’s “good citizenship clause” is thought to be at risk for McDonna calling President Obama a black Muslim, advocating unsafe sodomy, and violating the little-known Hollywood-Michelle Obama fast food deglamorization agreement (sometimes referred to as HOMOFFDA), at a recent lip-sync event.

McDonna’s adopted agent and former Rwandan child star Angelina Follicle, did not return calls or offer further clarification on the situation, but in related news, rap artist Eminem is said to be considering a public-private agreement with Disney which if approved, would result in his being known as Anaheim. In response, former angry rocker Neil Young announced his intent to update, re-master, and re-issue his This Note’s For You music video.

(Philup Nubia and Zerxes Jones-Smith from APIN’s Mumbai Information, Research, and Translation Service enclave contributed to this article.)

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on September 25, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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