How Romney can win over the mainstream media

It seems that media observers well understand the state of decay of the mainstream media and that the MSM house of cards is irrevocably stacked against Mitt Romney.

This—the anti-Romney bias, not the MSM rot—could all change, and quickly. What needs to happen for Romney to gain some additional MSM endorsement? Simple:

First, Romney must renounce his faith and embrace Islam.

Second, Romney must embrace global warming climate change climate confusion global warming.

Third, Romney must embrace government-driven market interference, that is, taxing disfavored industries (energy) and persons (“the rich”) and subsidizing favored industries (green energy, domestic automakers, finance and banking, and Hollywood) and persons (Warren Buffett, Jay-Z, Harvey Weinstein, et al.). Romney also needs to endorse all Fed actions to devalue the dollar.

Fourth, Romney must denounce his running mate as a racist, homophobe, woman-hater, hypocrite, etc..

Fifth, Romney needs to renounce American exceptionalism.

Finally, Romney must admit to being a closet homosexual who only did the natural marriage/family thing in order to advance his career. Although being a homosexual Muslim is an oxymoron, the MSM is unlikely to notice.

Such a Romney initiative, were it to be followed in it’s totality, would be likely to double his approval rating among the media from less than five percent to perhaps ten percent.

(Photo by Mark Wilson/Getty Images)


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on October 1, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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