Breaking Debate News

Although the presidential debates are yet to be conducted, President Obama has already been declared the winner by a 72 to 28 margin. The victory reflects the results of a survey of 160 main stream media political reporters and was conducted by PMNS Statistical Sampling.

The President’s win showed a far lower margin of victory than anticipated. This is thought to be largely due to the Obama economy (described as “worse than the Bush recession” by a Romney spokesman). Regardless, the media says the election is now all but over for Mr. Romney.

In unrelated news, the National Football League has announced that the Super Bowl will no longer be played and that the favorite coming out of the conference championship games, as established by sports writers, will instead serve the function previously fulfilled by the game itself.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on October 3, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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