Obama fails, media weeps, gnashes teeth, seeks answers

With the President’s epic debate-fail, many from the traditional media are left wondering just went wrong and why. Here are the answers:

Post debate, Chris Matthews asks “Where was Obama tonight?”

Answer: on the stage. You saw him. And so did America.

Post debate, Charles Blows thinks “President Xanax just doesn’t cut it.”

Answer: like a broken clock, Charles is actually correct a couple of times a day. And perhaps Barry did his pre-debate prep with the Choom Gang.

Post debate, Jonathan Chait wonders why “Obama wasted many [opportunities], with “uhs” and long, wonky discursions.”

Answer: Barry lacked a teleprompter.

Post debate, Gail Collins opines “The president thinks these debates are ridiculous, and he may well be right.”

Answer: And along those lines, Barry’s performance was appropriately ridiculous. And non-presidential.

Post debate, Amy Sullivan offers the President didn’t go backwards (with one focus group of 45 undecided voters), so he’ll be OK.

Answer: Her assessment confirms man is the only creature who can lie to himself.

Post debate, Joe Klein asks “Why was his [Obama’s] debate strategy unilateral disarmament?”

Answer: you got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em. What’s Barry going to do, run on his record?

What’s next? The traditional media will double down on their attempts to demonize and deconstruct Mitt Romney, as will the Obama campaign. Why? They hold no other cards and are unwilling to fold ‘em.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on October 4, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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