Rapper Dogg Poop ♥’s Obama

(Los Angeles, PMNS)

After the debate debacle in Denver, rapper Dogg Poop (born Calvin Coolidge Brohaus, Jr.) has taken to Twitter to affirm an as-yet unrequited man love for U.S. President Barack Obama.

The well-known rapper was first introduced to the idea of Obama man love by fellow acolyte (and ironically, winner of the celebrity Mitt Romney look-alike contest) George Clooney while the pair was under house arrest in Beverly Hills on a shoplifting-and-conspiracy charge. Dogg Poop later met the President at a 2008 fund raiser for the then-candidate at the home of media mogul Harvey Weinstein.

The rapper, best known for his promotions with Grape Nuts, the WNBA, and Pepsi Absolute Zero, made a list of how he loves the President and of his animosity towards Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney. Rap experts and handwriting specialists say the list is authentic and representative of Dogg Poop’s work (the following is, of course, a transcription of the tweeted photograph of Dogg Poop’s hand-written list):

  1. Obama may only be half-white but Romney’s all white.
  2. Romney thinks a ho is a gardening tool.
  3. Obama blows smoke and smokes blow.
  4. Obama got them Obama phones.
  5. Obama reminds me of a dude I met at Akbar.
  6. Romney reminds me of my probation officer.
  7. Michelle got a big old booty.
  8. My agent said this would be an edgy thing to do even if Katy Perry already did it.
  9. Romney can’t go to his left; Obama can go to his left.
  10. When Obama’s got nuthin to say, he says nuthin.

Most political analysts say this Dogg Poop endorsement is just the re-boot the President needs to get his campaign back on track, put economic and foreign policy issues behind him, and win the next two presidential debates decisively.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on October 7, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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