New Obama Campaign Debate Strategy

(Danville, KY, PMNS)

old joeDemocrat operatives are hoping a new strategy will propel Mr. Obama’s re-election effort past the week-old “debacle in Denver” with the vice presidential debates to be held here tonight on the campus of Centre College.

“The general idea is we’ll accept Joe Biden being slaughtered in order to put the President’s debate performance behind us. All we want to do is to turn the page,” said a close advisor to Mr. Obama. However, other advisors are not so willing to let Mr. Biden roam freely for fear he might generate a “fatal Bidenism.” So far all the VP’s fatal Bidenisms have been caught by the media and erased before they’ve had a chance to become a focus of discussion.

As such, technology has become an important safety net for the Democrats, and tonight Mr. Biden will be wearing a remote shock collar should he stray too far from the party line. As such, aides will shock Mr. Biden as required in order to help him stay on-message as much as possible.

“Joe’s familiar with this thing, in fact, he first wore it during the debate with Sarah Palin in the 2008 election,” the insider said. “It’s probably the only thing that allowed him a semblance of a draw. I suppose in hindsight, we should have left it on since then.”

Mr. Biden’s counterpart, Rep. Paul Ryan won’t face the same sort of restrictions, having proven himself to the Romney campaign by already besting Mr. Obama on Obamacare and the Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner, on the Administration’s non-plan to reduce the debt and entitlement crises.

Expect sparks to fly, literally, tonight from Centre College.

(Philup Nubia and Zerxes Jones-Smith from PMNS’s Mumbai Information, Research, and Translation Service enclave contributed to this article.)

Advertisements

About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on October 11, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: