Who Is America’s Worst “Conservative” Writer?

noonanWho is America’s worst (that is, most insipid, most in error—magnitude and frequency—and picks the least interesting topics) big-name “conservative” writer?

I nominate Peggy Noonan, who writes for the Wall Street Journal. Her true claim to fame was that she was a Reagan speechwriter about 30 years ago.

Here’s a current example of Noonan lameness:

[Post-Hurricane Sandy] New York’s mayor, Mike Bloomberg, was sterling—a solid, unruffled giver of information whose news conferences were blessedly free of theatrics…

Bloomberg, America’s nanny-mayor, is simply a twit. He’s a ham, is in Obama’s pocket, lacks the sense to cancel the New York Marathon in a timely manner, is a corporate suck-up, and knows you can’t be trusted to make your own decisions with regard to trans fats, smoking, sugary drinks, and guns. He’s also the politically-correct tool who banned clergy participation in the 9/11 Memorial.

Other than that, Bloomberg’s sterling, hurricane or not.

Almost never does Noonan offers anything but an obvious—or incorrect—take and most of her writing is about as interesting—subject-wise and stylistically—as a crop report or a letter from home about the weather.

And who is America’s best conservative writer? Personally, I’d start with George Will at the top of the pyramid and followed closely by solid-gold guys like Victor Davis Hanson, Jonah Goldberg, Thomas Sowell, Mark Steyn, and Andrew Malcolm. And Michael Ramirez has to be America’s best conservative cartoonist.

I think Rupert could do himself some good by failing to renew the Noonan option when it comes up.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on November 3, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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