On the Petraeus resignation: what just happened?

zipper case

David Petraeus, CIA Director, resigns on the Friday before Veterans Day for having an extramarital affair. What really just happened?

Here’s the WSJ’s report:

The [FBI’s] computer-security investigation—which raised questions about a potential compromise to national security—points to one reason Mr. Petraeus and the White House decided he couldn’t remain in the senior intelligence position. An extramarital affair has significant implications for an official in a highly sensitive post, because it can open an official to blackmail.

Except that makes no sense! Petraeus just coughed up his mea culpa, ergo how could he be blackmailed? As such, that theory makes as much sense as Barney Frank being blackmailed for being homosexual.

And while we’re at it, let’s get real: the Administration has been no friend to David Petraeus.

First, the Administration did all it could to minimize Petraeus, a military rock star, by sending him over to Afghanistan to replace his own subordinate after the media manufactured McChrystal mauling. Next, when Petraeus retired, a man of his record warrants the Directorship of the CIA? Not exactly a leap ahead—as being Chairman of the JCS would be—and likely so planned by the Administration. Finally, all this comes after the election and after Petraeus, like the Administration itself, put up a gigantic “not our fault” flashing neon sign with regard to the Benghazi debacle.

Could it be a coincidence, you ask, that this comes out in the wash just after the election? The odds of a coincidence range from improbable to impossible. Why? Because (again) according to the WSJ, this e-scandal has been bouncing around since the spring and it ended months ago.

The computer investigation began late this spring, according to a person familiar with the investigation. Mr. Petraeus wasn’t interviewed by the FBI until recently.

While Mr. Petraeus was still a general, he had email exchanges with the woman, but there wasn’t a physical relationship, the person said. The affair began after Mr. Petraeus retired from the Army in August 2011 and ended months ago, the person said.

I have no sympathy for a zipper case, yet on this issue, the fix was in and was being held until just the right moment. Military guys have little propensity to fight back (versus their political counterparts; think Bill Clinton) and lack the stomach for a steady stream of disgrace and embarrassment as the FBI-found e-mails would likely reveal… of course, unless you were to resign, General.

Better to just fade away.


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on November 10, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: