The iron logic of Rahm Emanuel

Chicago isn’t the Windy City; it’s murder city.

So what’s a desperate politico like Rahm Emanuel (seen in his famous ‘jazz hands’ pose at right) to do? Have someone write more gun control laws. Otherwise, people might assign ownership of Chicago’s murder problem to the mayor or even worse for the Emanualists, someone might make a primary run at him.

After 506 homicides in 2012 and more of the same during the opening days of the new year, Emanuel said he was determined to stretch the legal limits of his local authority to prod Springfield into action.

Since murder is already illegal, what makes Rahm Emanuel think that more gun control will make things better? Oh, right, I forgot… he’s been libotomized.

Rahm, the problem isn’t the guns, it’s the murderers. As Emanuel might say, “Never let 506 crises in 2012 go to waste in stretching the legal limits of your authority.”


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on January 14, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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