The shocking pharmacology of Alex Rodriguez

Alex Rodriguez was a walking, talking, high-volume experiment regarding PEDs anti-aging medications:

… documents released by the [Miami] New Times connect Rodriguez to at least 19 drugs and supplements, including the banned substances testosterone, HGH and IGF-1, and define one doping regimen that includes as many 19 injections: four subcutaneous injections of IGF-1, nine shots of CJC (a growth hormone releasing hormone) and GHRP (growth hormone releasing peptide), and six shots of HGH at 2.5 international units.

The lesson seems to be if you want a better athlete, you’d better bring better medicines. And lots of them. (And don’t forget the sterile wipes and band-aids.) Now, if they could only come up with a shot instead of having hip surgery (or hip surgeries).

It almost makes us lose sight of Lance Armstrong and Ryan Braun.

Almost.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on February 5, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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