Send lawyers, knives, and money

The Obama Administration’s thinking is muddled on myriad topics, including the following (the listing is merely representative and is far from inclusive):

They think the Second Amendment is a malleable speed bump that can be obliterated by Executive Order while entitlements are a series of iron-clad, lock-box promises that are inviolate, even if they bankrupt the country and thus can’t be paid.

They’re for abortion but against the death penalty (death by drones excepted, see below). With abortion, no crime is committed and yet a child dies. With the death penalty, heinous crimes have been committed and one or more victims lie dead, an exhaustive judicial and appeals process has been followed, and the murderer won’t receive his/her penalty for twenty to thirty years (except by natural causes), if ever.

Note: There are two reasons the death penalty is despised, first has to do with a distrust of “the system,” and the second is the liberal mindset of few/no absolutes, also known as “who are we to judge?” And the Administration coherency falls apart quickly because “the system” is itself a part of government (of which, you’ll recall, more is always better) but yet if we can’t trust “the system” (that is, government) on things of great import, why should we trust it on anything else? Beyond that, if no one is to judge and there are no absolutes, why should we submit to the ideas of the President or any other “authorities”?

The Obama Administration is against money in politics, unless its their money in politics. If it’s their money, the Administration favors the permanent campaign (which benefits the incumbent, no matter how inept he or she may be).

They are obsessed with father-free “families” like Julia (and should ponder Obama’s own daddy issues) while being remarkably incurious and silent on the differences fathers make in their children’s lives with regard to poverty, crime, drug use, adding value to society, etc. The Administration favors the oxymoron known as “homosexual marriage” and is down with being married to big government, but fails to enforce on-the-books law like the Defense of Marriage Act the President and his minions don’t like. But if a man can father ten children with ten women, why can’t he instead have ten wives with one child each, especially if the state (that is, the taxpayers and/or their borrowing) ends up paying the bills?

The Administration want an educated populace but only if those doing the educating fall under the purview of the teaching unions. The fact that additional federal spending on education doesn’t improve student outcomes can be ignored. Alternatives to public education like home schooling, charter schools, and private schools are evil (or at minimum,  violate the Constitution, which in this case, must be observed).

They want America to be bully-free unless they are doing the bullying through their “free press” (as long as it’s free to and for Obama). The Administration wants freedom of expression for Americans unless it hurts anyone’s feelings and then it must be suppressed. The idea that one man’s debater might be another man’s bully works in one direction, one that favors the Administration.

Free markets are good and important and helped make America great. Government control of these same markets will make things even better. The lessons of history can be ignored because this time it’ll be different.

There is no such thing as waste in government unless it’s in disfavored sectors like national security (not to be confused with Homeland Security, which is a very favored sector). All other government spending is “investment” whether in people (the children, the poor, students, illegal aliens, teachers, the elderly, etc.) or programs or the ever-popular and undefined topic of “infrastructure.”

Waterboarding three people is an evil analogous to the Holocaust yet ending around 3000 lives via the President’s license-to-kill drones is not subject to discussion.

Leaking national secrets is a crime of treason and treachery unless the Administration does it in a pre-election attempt to burnish their security bona fides with voters.

The President thinks raising the federal debt ceiling is irresponsible when a Republican is in the White House and thinks failure to do so is irresponsible when he’s in the White House.

There’s more of course, but why is it so difficult for the media to challenge the Administration of their many intellectual disconnects? Because they’re liberals and live in a bubble of liberalness; because they’re Obama fanboys and fangirls; because they were the victims of liberal (versus classical) education.

In the end, Dear Reader would like us to quietly submit to his authority and this Administration is about one thing: control. And remember, submission is for your own good.

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on February 19, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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