Save money on your Obamacare premiums!

Should the Supremes rule that marriage is not limited to the centuries-long natural marriage model that’s stood the test of time—until now—how about these to save some money on your Obamacare charges: consider lawsuits to allow for polygamy, multi man-woman-child “marriages,” or even to have entire multiple families “marry” one another?

With such lawsuits—if upheld—one member of the “marriage” could pay the “family rate” for the Obamacare premiums and everyone else could ride free as a “wife, husband, or partner” of some sort.

Why, extend the thought, ad infinitum: whole towns could “marry” one another, or even states, or even all Americans. Think of the possibilities, with all Americans—or even the whole world!—united to one another in holy matrimony! Exciting!

(To say nothing of the incredible economies of scale we’d no doubt see with nearly free world-wide healthcare! Such a program would likely save the global economy, disprove the “free lunch” theory, and debunk the bogus claims of anti-Keynesians once and for all! Exciting!)

“But that’s all absurd,” you say. Perhaps, but as long as foundational terms are being redefined, why stop with same-sex “marriage”? Why not a rabbit and a man (as pictured above)? Why not a man and a man and a pig (and ponder the predictive power of Deliverance)? Or an entire women’s softball team? After all, where is the love, or where is the love (Seventies version), or even if loving you (all) is wrong, I don’t wanna be right.

“But it’s against the law,” you say. “There are laws, conventions. It’s just not been done.”

Good point. As was sodomy once upon a time.

Well, nobody’s perfect.

About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on March 27, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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