Joseph Mitchell goes full retard. Never go full retard.

Alabama State Rep. Joseph Mitchell (D-Mobile) has demonstrated that he lacks the temperament, discernment, and intellect to hold public office. Or in other words, Mitchell went full retard, and perhaps—like actor Sean Penn back in the day, see below—he’ll also come home empty handed.

(Unfortunately for Mobile voters—and voters all across America—temperament, discernment, and intellect are not prerequisites to holding office.)

From Mitchell’s e-mail response to Eddie Maxwell of Jefferson County (Maxwell had initially asked state legislators to not introduce additional gun control legislation; Mitchell’s typos are left in place):

From: Representative Joseph Mitchell

Sent: Sunday, January 27, 2013 11:59 PM

To: Eddie Maxwell

cc: (all members)

Subject: Re: Gun Control and our Constitutions

Hey man. You have used the word ‘except’ when I think you mean somethin’ else.

Hey man. Your folk never used all this sheit to protect my folk from your slave-holding, murdering, adulterous, baby-raping, incestuous, snaggle-toothed, backward-a**ed, inbreed, imported criminal-minded kin folk. You can keep sending me stuff like you have however because it helps me explain to my constituents why they should protect that 2nd amendment thing AFTER we finish stocking up on spare parts, munitions and the like.

Bring it. As one of my friends in the Alabama Senate suggested – “BRING IT!!!!”

JOSEPHm, a prepper (’70-’13)

Mobile County

Hey man. Notably, the word “except,” referenced by Mitchell, did not appear in Maxwell’s initial e-mail. And given Mitchell’s self-evident ability to explain issues to his constituents, he is no doubt one of the thought leaders of his party.

Mitchell did a “reply all” on his response. Whoopsie: Maxwell’s initial e-mail had been a blast to all members of the state legislature.

Republicans were going to pin hope on Dr. Ben Carson. Democrats can now do the same with Joseph Mitchell, an articulate, wise, humble, and in all ways, model liberal.

Tip to Mitchell: never go full retard, especially if you aren’t acting.

Joseph Mitchell comes to mind when you mention Sean Penn…

About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on March 28, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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