Christmas comes early for Tiger Woods

Tiger Woods fails to comply with the rules of golf (that’s code for he cheated). Then Woods signs his score card, misrepresenting his actions.

Normally—if the rules of golf were observed—Woods would be DQ’d. Instead he’s given mercy by the rules committee types at Augusta: a two-stroke penalty.

As such, the PGA Tour and the Masters have proven themselves to be just like the NCAA. That is, they’re all about the money while providing lip-service to all sorts of altruistic pap.

Woods, of course, translates to eyeballs for CBS; eyeballs translate back to the funding CBS pays to broadcast the Masters.

Think this would have happened to the low amateur? And how is the ruling fair to the other competitors who are all trying to do what Woods is trying to do, to win a golf tournament?

Some woolly-headed thinker say, “It’s only cheating if there’s intent.” I say that sounds like an excuse Bill Clinton would offer. Ask the IRS if they view it that way, if alleged ignorance is an excuse. Woods admitted on television to what he did.

So, can we please stop pretending this isn’t all about the money?


About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on April 13, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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