How Barry never got his groove back

The President is mired in a triple-play of scandals. The IRS appears as a Democrat fed freedom-munching monstrosity, the oxymoron known as the “Justice Department” is suppressing the First Amendment, and the Benghazi security debacle and subsequent cover-up are slowly being unpeeled. (The extra-legal wranglings of HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius could prove to be a four-fer.)

What’s a President to do? Distract the media and the masses by attempting to appear presidential. Look, squirrel!

A modest distraction campaign was attempted via the President’s trip outside the District to view the devastation in Oklahoma, a locale where a presidential sounding speech can be read, promises made, pain felt, and big government extolled. However, even under such circumstances, it seems the Administration cannot resist its first impulse, to blame others.

Briefing the media aboard Air Force One on the way to Oklahoma, White House principal deputy press secretary Josh Earnest responded to a reporter’s question about what the disaster said about the role of government by first saying: “It’s not a day for politics.”

He then continued: “That said, I think it is evident to any impartial observer here what an important role the federal government can play in providing assistance to our people at their time of urgent need. And you talk about an agency like FEMA that, when this president took office, did not have a very good reputation.”

In Obamaland—and for the pure Obamaphille—squaring the circle is thus as easy as saying one thing (it’s not about politics) and immediately implying the opposite (FEMA under Bush was inept). And ponder this, Earnest-one: maybe FEMA didn’t have a very good reputation (is it any better now?), but the IRS and the Justice Department were less of a problem.

Still looking to appear presidential, the President has also attempted to align himself with the cool kids. In such a case, it means heading over to New Jersey to hang with cool kid extra-grande, Chris Christie.

With New Jersey’s Republican Gov. Chris Christie at Obama’s side, effective government, bipartisanship and economic opportunity will be the unmistakable message in the face of the coastal recovery.

The unmistakable message sadly flies in the face of the ground truth and past presidential practices (ineffective government, bitter partisanship, and economic regression). On top of that, there’s the President’s ongoing demonization of those who would disagree with him. So as it regards Christie, all the President can bring forward is his face and hope for a great photo op and maybe a couple of cute bumper stickers about the truth and light of the federal Leviathan.

The bad news for conservatives is rolling back Obama’s damage to America may be a Sisyphean task that takes tons (literally, in Biden-speak) of political capital. 

The good news for conservatives is at this rate—posing, scandal-tamping, and feigning ignorance—Barry will never get his groove back. (That and a Republican House…)

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About Professor Mockumental

I enjoy almost all forms of parody, buffoonery, and general high-jinks. Satire has shown itself to be an essential societal need; I therefore humbly offer my services in such a manner. I enjoy mocking the usual suspects at the New York Times (Charles Blows, Moron Dowd, and the earth is flat guy) and Washington Post (Dana Milkbag, E.D. Dijon, and David Ignoramus). There are many others as well, but sadly, there are always too many targets and too little time.

Posted on May 28, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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